Storm in a Teacup (Beauty)

As the summer draws to a close and thoughts of the new semester start their rampage in my mind, bringing about many sleepless nights filled with exciting new plans and ideas...I think I'm ready for fall to begin. Idle time (summer) seems to drive me insane these days. I've got big plans for this year, and I'm more than ready to execute.

I'm patiently waiting for my Holga camera to show up on my doorstep today. It's a cheap little plastic medium format camera...that is just what I need.

I'm planning on applying for graduate school in Minneapolis for an MFA in Photography (so much for Japan). And I have a LOT of work to do with my portfolio to get it up to standards. I think that most difficult part for me is figuring out why I do what I do. I don't think I should have to justify my art...or why I like to take pictures of rotting pig's heads and burn my film. However, I'm going to have to figure it out if I ever want to get into grad school. Honestly, it has been consuming the "back burner" of my thoughts lately.

I like to twist reality. Is that enough? I mean, does there have to be symbolism in everything? I think that the human condition is compelled to attach meaning to everything (um...religion, anyone?), but the bottom line is...none of us know why we're here, or how we got here, or that the delicate web we call life could end at any second. So...we attach meaning to things to give us comfort and something to live for. But, we...just....don't...know...for sure. So, I like to take the reality around me, pull it into my world, and spit it back out so other people can see how I view reality. Isn't that good enough? Isn't that what art is all about?

If not, it should be. I keep getting asked what I "plan to do" with my degree, as if I MUST have some specific career goals, but I just do what makes me happy. That's all. If I had career goals, I would have gone to school for pharmacology. I like beautiful things, and beauty is relative,or in the eye of the beholder, or whatever...so why not make a life out of it? Sigh...I feel like I'm bashing my head against the same old wall that has been there since I developed a consciousness and realized that I'm different. Maybe I'm just being narcissistic. I'm ok with that.